We Knew This Was Coming: A Look Ahead at the “Man of Steel” Sequel

Well, it’s August. The biggest summer blockbusters have already been released. Fansites are still flooded with reviews, complaints, praises, and pseudo-political debates about whether or not certain movies were good OR bad. The lines have been drawn. The armies are faced off, and the internet muscles are glistening in the sun. Personally, I get in at least one geek argument per day on various websites. My favorite is defending Iron-Man 3 against the irrational hatred that seems to have taken hold. Seriously, I should get a cut of the profits from that movie at this point. This is also the week of the San Diego Comic-Con. I’ve never been there, but someday I WILL go on a most excellent adventure across the country to get there. It’s been a dream since I was a child in a child’s body. And now that I’m a child in a man’s body, the dream still lives. Only now I have a driver’s license, so I really have no excuse anymore. But I digress. This week is when all of us fanboys get exciting news and announcements about movies and video games that are either still unfinished or not even started. Nevertheless, it’s fun news. Much more fun than “baby watch” in England and much less depressing than worldwide arms races and saber-rattling by countries I can barely pronounce correctly.

The biggest news so far out of SDCC has got to be Zack Snyder’s announcement of the Man of Steel sequel. I have to admit, I was a little surprised they were planning a sequel already. I was almost expecting another Superman Returns, honestly. I walked out of Man of Steel saying, “well, that was… ok…. but where do they go from here?” Well, Mr. Snyder answered my question. At the SDCC announcement of the sequel, he brought out actor Henry Lennix to read a short piece of dialogue that would hint at the direction his Superman sequel would be taking. With that, Lennix read the following: “I want you to remember, Clark. In all the years to come. In all your most private moments.I want you to remember my hand at your throat. I want you to remember the one man who beat you.” With that, the audience began to go insane as a screen lit up behind Lennix showing the Superman logo placed over a Batman logo. That’s right. The dialogue read was from one of the most famous interactions between the two characters, from Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns. That was the answer I was looking for! How can they make a sequel to Man of Steel? Well, by hitching it onto Batman’s coattails, of course!!!

Ok, Ok, I know that sounds harsh, but really. Think about it. Batman is DC/ WB’s most famous and successful movie property at this point. Man of Steel painted itself into a corner making it VERY hard to make a sequel. And for some reason, people seem to think that they want a Justice League movie, or that one is even possible! Don’t get me wrong, I love JL and DC, but i’m very skeptical about a team-up movie about those characters. But I’ll spare everyone the philosophizing about that one. No one knows a thing about what this movie will even really be about, but one thing’s for certain: if Chris Nolan is anywhere near this thing, I’m sure it will be a laugh riot!!! Well, unintentionally. So, since we have a while before story details are revealed about this huge brown-nosing of comic movie fans everywhere, I’ve decided to list my ideas for the casting of the new Batman. Keep in mind, this is all for fun. This is also being done at a time when comic movie casting pays no attention to subject matter or continuity. The races of characters doesn’t matter anymore, and if Andrew Garfield gets his way with Spider-Man, 50 years of love interest backstories don’t matter anymore, either. So, here’s my list, in no particular order or regard for history as written.

1.Johnny Depp Why not? he plays everything else. Instead of a growling Christian Bale, we’ll have a mumbling Hunter S. Thompson. He can have that eyebrow-raised look of surprise the first time he sees Superman fly by. He can walk around in the Batsuit in a drunken swagger. “We can’t stop here! This is bat country!!”

2.Chris Evans He’s played Captain America AND Human Torch. He has a large, square chin that Michael Keaton did NOT. “Superman…. smash!!”

3.Scarlett Johansson Yes, I know. She’s a woman. In this time of political correct casting, it would be amazing! And I don’t know if everyone realizes this, but she has more comic book movie experience than most of the people in Avengers. Ghostworld, The Spirit, Iron-man 2, Cap 2, involved with Ryan Reynolds for a bit– why not? And all she’d have to do is slide a batmask over her head while wearing the Black Widow outfit and that will be good enough for the costume. “I’m Batman!” “wai–wha?”

4. Tom Jane Actually, I’m kind of serious about this one. He was given a horrible script for The Punisher, but played a tortured soul vigilante quite well. His “Dirty Laundry” short film, although a bit violent by DC standards, did a fantastic job of showing an aging vigilante who just can’t escape the life. If they DO go the Dark Knight Returns route, I think he’d be a great pick. But they won’t. And he wouldn’t. Because he’s one of those “I don’t like superheroes, they’re too unrealistic” actors who drive me ABSOLUTELY FRICKIN’ NUTS!!! Sorry. But anyway, I think he’d do a good job.

5.Hugh Jackman The man doesn’t age. He not only enjoys being a superhero, he REVELS in it! He’s been Wolverine for 13 years and shows no signs of slowing down. He has been filming X-stories ON TOP of everything else he’s been doing the whole time. For better or for worse, he has become the new face of Wolverine. Now imagine someone that dedicated playing Batman! Keaton wouldn’t work with anyone but Burton. Kilmer was a spoilt diva, Clooney sucked, and Bale just seemed to me like he couldn’t get out of that role fast enough. At least with Jackman you know you have someone who’ll do whatever it takes to get the movie made. “WHERE’S THE TRIGGER…. BUB???”

6.Will Smith At least we’d have an automatic Robin, since Jaden must now appear in everything his dad is in. And remember the big Batman/Superman movie billboard in I AM LEGEND? Maybe that was a big hint. And maybe Will will even write his own theme for the movie a la MEN IN BLACK! Just thinkn about it. Cavill’s goodie-two-shoes Superman teamed up with Smith’s constant one liners and charasmatic smirking. And Jaden… doing whatever it is that Jaden does. Admit it. The more you think about this the more sense it makes. Scary, isn’t it?

I think my new goal for the summer is to start the rumor mill with these names. I would LOVE to see people complaining online that ScarJo is ACTUALLY up for the role of Batman

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