DVD Review: Guardians of the Galaxy

Admittedly I’m way behind in my movie viewing, which is not really news to anyone. I’ve finally had the opportunity to watch last summer’s breakout blockbuster and after a decade of film with no heart or real artistic value, I have finally found true cinematic gold in Gnardians of the Galaxy. It’s not often that I get this excited about a film, excuse the stain on my pants, but this one really had me standing straight up and cheering. I’ve heard a few things about how amazing the makeup and effects were but I thought it was a bit lacking when it came to the big bangs and explosions. They were right on the money when it came to the makeup however. I have to admit, those characters looked so real! Rocket couldn’t have possibly had me swooning anymore and Groin (which I mistakenly thought was called “Groot”, duh) was just flat out the winner for costume design. I’m still day dreaming about that one, in my shower.

What I found most impressive about this film is the fact that a company as family friendly and under such pubic scrutiny as Disney had the audacity to slip in such graphic sexual material. Obviously deep pockets go a long way to get hardcore sex past the MPAA.

Now, we at Film Dumpster realize that I am not a very active blogger, nor do I see any recently released films, or have any knowledge of films yet to be released, or have any general input other than what IMDB so kindly supplies me with, but I’m turning all that around. This film has blown new life into me. It was like I was there too; I felt as if this was my life, my experience. It sparked a hunger in me not just for slutty midgets dressed as animals but for giant erect cocks and the magic of a film where both can cum together. This is true art.

I don’t usually hear so many good things about a film and find them to be so accurate, albeit somewhat misleading (this is definitely what they would call a HARD PG-13). This time it was really worth it to get out there and watch a mind-blowingly good film. Thank you to Marvel/Disney and Wood Rocket Films for changing my life and inspiring me to have fantasies about a multitude of alien species. I may have to sit down and watch another. Maybe. Well, probably.

Uhm, I remember this trailer being a lot different….

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